Somewhere deep down inside me is a place where fantasies about what should have been flourish. There are faces, names, experiences and memories inside a fantastical vault controlled not by God or shared experience but simply by me and my imagination alone. I fill this space with stories, dreams, passions and knowledge that only the wiser side of self has experienced. The little voice that shouted "No!" before I leaped comes from within this cavern. This side of me always knows better. This girl learns fast and has made the right choice every time. Everything has gone according to a grander plan - a plan designed by ME and me alone. There's no sadness, pain or missed opportunity inside this secret place. Each peg fits each hole with precision. Every choice is rewarded with the perfect outcome and fits neatly into the box only I open and close. Each day ends with a smile and back scratch. There's no regret. Just happiness. Every morning I awake inside this place - my confidence is high, my back is straight, breath fresh and beauty unmatched.
Then I look to my left. Fucking reality.
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